Removing Discord in the Family!

bumchums

Life can be very simple and beautiful. It can also be very complex and frustrating. It is the way you choose to live life.
We can choose to be simple, caring, patient, open, mature, carefree, kind and considerate; Or we can choose to be egotist, unkind, haughty, critical, greedy, constipated and hurtful to others; the choice is entirely yours.
Where ever two or more family members reside, there are bound to be minor squabbles, difference of opinion and other small irritants but it does not mean that life cannot be peaceful and worth living. Even a beautiful looking ocean produces waves where the water particles may be at different wave length. As long as there is sense of reconciliation and adjustment nothing can go wrong. However if family members choose to make their life miserable and turbulent they can can do so by Ego match, debasing each other and being unnecessarily critical and finding faults. One thing leads to another and life becomes unbearable. I have known families who were financially well off but developed differences amongst its members, which led to ego match with severe and adverse fall out; In the end such families completely destroyed themselves. Therefore the choice rests entirely with you. Some of the well known and simple thoughts to end family conflicts are;
1. Judge yourself and not Others. “ A wise person is the one who introspects him/herself.” (ਪ੍ਰਣਵਤਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਕੈਸਾ ਹੋਵੇ , ਆਪ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਬੂਝੇ ਸੋਇ , SGGS Pg 25).
2. Forget and Forgive. Life is very small for grudges.
3. Avoid an Ego match.
4. Appreciate each other. I scratch your back and you scratch mine philosophy works well.
5. If one of your family member is angry and shouts on you, understand that there may be certain other reasons. Try to ignore or laugh it out.
6.  Avoid direct confrontation and give time to your partner to cool down.
7. Do not try to lower the self esteem of your partner. Each person has value.
8.  Do not punish others for your complexes.
9.  Control over your Anger. When angry, drink a glass of water, think of something pleasant and move out of the scene.
10. Finally listen to each other and accept the other person’s point of view. As great Saint and First Sikh Guru Nanak said.
“ ਏਕ ਨੇ ਕਹੀ ਦੂਜੇ ਨੇ ਮਾਨੀ , ਕਹੋ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੋਨੋ ਬ੍ਰਹੱਮ ਗਿਆਨੀ ”
“ एक ने कही दूजे ने मानी , कहो नानक दोनो ब्राह्म ज्ञानी “
(Eek ne kahi duje ne mani, kaho nanak dono braham gyani)
“When One speaks and the Other accepts, Both are Super wise.”
So, choose a Simple life, balanced life and a beautiful life. It is up to you. God Bless!
Guchi.

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